Vision

I am serving on my parish's search committee as we seek a new priest. We have just begun the process and another committee is beginning the work of self-study and development of a vision of who we are and where we see ourselves going. I'm not involved in that, to every one's relief. I get lost in the minutiae of gathering and collating the thoughts of a few hundred people! But I did come across a terribly apropos blog post at Father Jake's. Please read it in its entirety:

Evangelism for Today's World: Radical Welcome

The notion of radical welcome is both wonderful and scary. Sort of like the whole Gospel. And maybe that is the whole Gospel. God's radical welcome of us. Elizabeth Gilbert, in "Eat, Pray, Love" quotes one of her teachers in India as saying something along the lines of "God is in you, as you." I quoted that during our search committee retreat. As we were seeking to identify our own gifts and vision, I encouraged people to recognize that who they are is a reflection of God's very image. That's not to say we don't all have things to improve. But at my core, I am the image of God. And it is that, the heart of my humanity, that God welcomes. I am not like others, and yet I am inescapably bound to all of my sisters and brothers.

Father Jake quotes Archbishop Desmond Tutu in talking about Ubuntu, the idea that we are persons only through other people, our humanity is never a solitary proposition. In light of that, which I think is very reflective of the biblical ideal of community, isn't it vital that we welcome and embrace all who come to us? That we realize that only in accepting others can we accept our own humanity and accept God.

I shared this, in a longer and more wordy email, with the chair of our committee and expressed the hope that this is my vision for our parish, indeed for the whole of the Church.




On a more personal and mundane note, I got a text from a friend, a recently divorced woman, the other day, asking why every man who is emotionally, financially, or mentally unstable is totally attracted to her. I responded that anytime a man lets me know he finds me attractive, I know immediately he is either married, partnered, or dating! And that's almost the truth. The guys with whom I share the most mutual attraction, all totally innocent, are all unavailable. Of course, part of the attraction on my part is the stable and committed relationship I am witnessing!

Except for this one guy. Who reminds, slightly, of the guy I wrote about a while back. The one who deep down wants to be straight and only wants a relationship with another "straight" guy. Anway, this friend really wants to date me, at least that's what I'm picking up from him. Besides the fact that I'm only mildly physically attracted to him, he's one of the I'm gay but in the closet but not really in the closet but don't like the "scene" kind of guys.

OK, so I get the guys who don't like the "scene", whatever that is. Because in my experience, there are just lots of scenes and lots of guys overlapping from one to the other. In a smaller city like Birmingham, lots of guys who aren't really clubing types are at a club because our options aren't as diverse as in larger cities. It's more about seeing people you know. And I get that the community can be superficial. But so can every community. And I understand that some people don't like the idea of advertising their sexuality, although my straight friends do it in small and large ways all the time without even thinking about it.

But I'm not sure I can date someone who seems so unhappy with the gay community and, seemingly at some level, with being gay. I mean, I love being involved in the community. I love singing in the chorus. I love doing things at Birmingham AIDS Outreach. I love volunteering with Equality Alabama. I like going to Pride and seeing the enormous diversity, from the tables of people selling things that I'm sure are probably illegal in this repressive state to the beautiful sounds of the Covenant Community Church choir on stage.

Actually, I guess after writing that, I know I can't date someone who is basically not happy with things that mean something to me. So that question is answered. What is unanswered is why do I feel like a magnet for the unavailable or those who don't share many of my values?!? Of course, if I'm a magnet for them, I guess that means I should just keep trying. The more involved I am, the more people I meet, as friends as well as perhaps a potential date!

-David