Peace

I have four favorite Hebrew words and the one at the top of the list is shalom. Like so many powerful words, it encompasses so many shades of meaning. Whenever I hear the English word peace in a religious context, I think of shalom.

We often think of peace as the opposite of hostility, the end of war and fighting. And inner peace as a sense of no conflict. Shalom does mean this, but it implies more. Its root means to be perfect, complete, or whole. And that, for me, has come to be what peace is about.

It isn’t enough that there be no conflict between nations, peoples, or individuals, or within oneself. God’s call and gift of peace is more. Between people it is a regard, care, concern, recognition of and for the other. It is loving your neighbor. Within oneself, it is a sense of wholeness and an acceptance, a loving of yourself.

I know that I am beloved and that God dwells within every part of me and declares me good. Within me is the seed and bud of that which I am formed and called to be. I am whole and complete. I know that. But I struggle to believe it. I do not feel peace. I feel turmoil. I doubt myself, my goodness, my love of others and myself.  I struggle to recapture those moments when I felt intrinsically good and worthy.

That sounds perhaps more depressing than it is. Like most people, I live with ups and downs. I am naturally optimistic and positive, and so it seems to hit me worse when things aren’t going the way I hoped or desired. I see my faults so large and glaring and my shortcomings seem enormous.

I make my prayer, over and again, God grant me peace. Give me the clear vision that shows me the way to love myself and to love my neighbor. Let me see and feel that shalom which is created within me.

-David