What do I do with the rest of my life?

I almost hesitate to write this, because it seems like it will never be final, but it looks like my last day of employment will be this Friday. It's been over a year in coming. Not literally, but the stress and worry has been that long.

Over a year ago, my employer merged with a larger company. One of the largest companies in the US. In the world. And I became a much smaller fish in a much bigger pond. In January my job was declared redundant and I became a surplus employee. Surplus. Are people ever rightfully considered surplus? I'm just an unnecessary extra now.

But then there was a concerted effort to find a way to keep me. And we thought it had worked out, until yesterday. And so Friday moved from my possible last day to my definite last day. Except now I'm hearing that maybe something will still happen by then. It's really more up and down than any one man should have to take!

In any event, the whole process has set me on a path of wondering what I'm going to do next. It's as though someone hit the reset button on my entire life about two years ago and it's finally finishing booting back up. Everything is new.

One of the thoughts that pervades my contemplation is that I want to do something I find meaningful. Something with purpose. Making some sort of positive difference. Unfortunately, the meaningless job I've had all these years has paid really well. And nothing I really want to do pays anything close to what I've been making. I think I can handle that. I'm not really materially needy. But I do have my daughters to worry about. There, though, I have an incredible ex-wife, who I think will always be one of my best friends and supporters. She's been concerned that I pay too much child support for a while (is it really possible for me to contribute too much to my children - I've never thought so). So she has really been encouraging and insistent that everything will work out. And truly I believe this.

Somehow, things always manage to work. Not in the way I might envision, but still, I'm left on my feet and breathing and surrounded by love. But still, what in the world am I going to do with the rest of my life??

-David