Self-esteem

I don't know about you, but I always read signs in front of churches. Those message boards that change from time to time. Rarely I find something that is moving or inspiring. More often, I find something that I understand, but I wonder why it's there. Phrases or biblical quotations that really only speak to insiders, those who already know the faith. Not so meaningful to non-Christians.

And then, on occasion, I find my favorites. Things that are just plain stupid or wrong, at least in my opinion. I've been seeing one of these for a week now, wondering when they're going to change it. But it keeps rattling around in my head, and ticking me off.

"Self-esteem comes when acceptable behavior is achieved."

Maybe it's just me, but this seems to be exactly, totally opposite to what real self-esteem is. To seek my sense of worth in the approval of another is not self-esteem.

I will grant that acceptable in this quote probably refers to behavior which is acceptable to God. But I see two problems there. First of all, who gets to say what God believes is acceptable behavior. You can't just look at the Bible, for obvious reasons. There are plenty of biblical behaviors which we certainly don't condone today.

More importantly, God doesn't declare me worthy based on my behavior, but based solely on my existence. My self-esteem is rooted in my own knowledge that I am good in my very creation. My behavior, at its best, comes out of my self-esteem, not the other way around.

Interestingly, Pride Week is coming up here in Birmingham. A reminder that I am proud of who I am, as a Christian, a dad, a gay man. I certainly don't need some pastor telling me that my behavior is acceptable and I can, therefore, feel a sense of my own worth. I'm not proud of what I do, I am proud of who I am. What I do is just a reflection of who I am.


Tonight I'm going to see the Elton John/Tim Rice version of Aida. It's been a busy, busy week and I'm excited to have something fun to do!